Law of Attraction (LOA)- 5 Things to Avoid When You Feel Bad
In our world when we are feeling bad, we are often programmed to try and figure out what went wrong, or what and who is to blame. We try to “get to the bottom of it,” and yet no matter how much we try to figure out the piece of the puzzle that will make it better, it just doesn’t work. We may have a temporary sense of relief by talking about what is wrong, or by blaming something or someone, but ultimately it leaves us feeling empty and often generates more frustration. We seem to attract more similar frustrations to us when we are in this state of mind. Here are some examples:
- Feeling frustrated…Have you ever noticed that when you are feeling frustrated, more frustrating things often happen? For example, you are on the way to work and another car shoots out in front of you, almost causing an accident, which you narrowly miss. You feel frustrated and yell a few choice words at the driver from inside your car. Once you get to work and get out of your car, you spill coffee on your shirt as you run into the office, late for a meeting. Sound vaguely familiar?
- Feeling good…Consequently, when you’re feeling happy, it seems like other good feelings and events naturally flow to you. In a similar example on a different day, you are on your way to work and your favorite song comes on. You sing to yourself and feel positive energy flowing. You notice sunshine and blue skies on the drive, and how the trees are starting to bud green because it’s spring. You get to work on time, and when you walk in you share a nice interaction with a coworker that you like. Get the picture?
None of these events mentioned above are life-altering, and they are common things that could happen to any of us on a typical day, but these types of “coincidences” are really synchronicities. They happen because the energy is flowing in a certain direction. Most of us have mixed thoughts, some positive and some negative, so we attract mixed events in our days that seem to come from out of the blue, but they really don’t.
Although we cannot control other people or circumstances, we can control our reactions. Our choice of what we put our attention on attracts like circumstances and events. The more we practice this, the more consistently we attract like circumstances and events.
So…What not to do when you feel bad? We can avoid focusing on the problem. You may say, “What do you mean? If I don’t focus on the problem, how can I fix it?” Well, stay tuned…
We Are Programmed to Want to Get to the Bottom of The Problem
As human beings, we often want to figure out what went wrong, or who to blame. We think if we can pinpoint that, we can fix it. But from an energetic perspective, when we focus on the problem and put our attention on what or who is wrong, we only draw more of the same type of energy to the situation, and to ourselves. For example…
Thinking About a Problem over and over is Like Scratching an Itchy Bug Bite That Gets Worse When You Continue to Scratch it
Like scratching a bug bite, when we focus on our troubles we may think we feel better at first, but like when we stop itching, the bite gets itchier, our problems seem to get more intense from all the attention. Talking about the problem, or focusing on it to “get to the bottom of it” may feel like it is the way to fix things, but it just continues to keep you in the vibration of the problem. By stepping away from it when you are in the problem mode, you can lift your emotional state and allow in possible solutions, without having to over-focus on them. When we can shift into a lighter, better feeling place, we allow better things in.
When we keep trying to find answers from a place of feeling bad, we may come up with solutions, but they will not be satisfying.
What to Avoid
It is one thing to acknowledge a problem and say what you are feeling. It is another thing to keep focusing on the problem, and going in mental circles. This is similar to a metaphor of falling in the mud and getting up and out or falling in the mud and wallowing in it. What to avoid:
1. Avoid trying to figure out where things went wrong, or get to the bottom of the problem.
*This may feel like it will help, but it only makes us feel worse.
2. Avoid thinking about who is to blame.
*Even if this seems logical, or if it’s true, it won’t be helpful.
3. Avoid justifying why you need to focus on the problem because it is “true.”
*The question is, do you want more of what is currently true, or something else?
4. Avoid thinking that LOA must not work for you because you are always focusing on the positive.
*You may be focusing but are you also justifying why you are right? Or are you finding things to appreciate, and redirecting your focus on what you want? Make a statement of what you want in the positive, not the negative (ie., I don’t want to get in traffic jams on the way to work with bad drivers.”… Rather you may say “I want to have a smooth and easy ride to work today.”)
5. Avoid thinking about, talking about, writing about, or focusing on the situation in any way.
What Can I Do To Resolve a Problem if I Don’t Focus on fixing it? As a counselor, I encourage those I work with to practice these steps:
- Acknowledge what the problem is, and then allow yourself to be distracted temporarily away from thinking about it by doing something off topic.
State what you want, not what you don’t want, and allow yourself to shift to another thing in your day. Meditation or a nap can be powerful tools. Redirecting your attention to anything you appreciate, can also be very helpful, even if they are very simple Things (ie. blue skies and sunshine, a good meal, a comfortable bed, a good show or book, music you enjoy…)
- You can state, “I want to allow the best possible resolution with_____so that the greatest good comes for everyone.” This allows for the best resolution, which may be different from what you imagine.
You would NOT want to say something like “I don’t want to deal with______ any more.” because, with LOA, you get what you are thinking, whether you want it or not. If you say you don’t want to deal with something, the universe will serve up to you whatever you are putting your focus on, and you will attract more of what you don’t want.
2. Problems & solutions are two different frequencies. You cannot find better solutions from the perspective of the problem. The harder you push, the less gets accomplished, like “pushing a noodle.”
3. Think about other things. It can be as simple as what’s for dinner, or that you are looking forward to watching a show or listening to music. Once distracted, or thinking generally less negative things, the energy starts to ease a bit and there is a lighter perspective.
4. When feeling better, continue to focus on generally better feelings. Gradually ease into feeling even better.
5. If something is true, especially if it’s true… Ask yourself if you want to continue having it be true… Or if you prefer something else.
6. Focus on something that you want, and why you want it, can allow it to come into tangible reality. Even if it’s not there when you are focusing on it, putting your attention there creates that, rather than what is actually “true” at the moment.
7. Remember, greater clarity comes from lightening the mood.
Be Nice to Yourself!
Changing our habits of thinking takes some practice, so be nice to yourself in the process! If you find you are off track make light of it, keep a sense of humor, and realize it is part of the process. It is not a race, it’s a journey. We hear this all the time but there is truth in it. We actually never get “there” because there will always something else, so let’s make it a fun ride and be as good to ourselves as possible along the way! After all, it is only when we are happy that we can have an impact on others in a positive way. If we are not feeling good, we have nothing to offer anyone. So…. Be good to yourself!
P.S.- Stay tuned for my next blog about my personal experience with shifting from feeling bad to feeling better!
Andrea Carin Pirsch, LICSW